Monday, September 29, 2008

Grow local

Today the sun shone, and although it is nearly the end of September, it was as warm and summery as August. I harvested the last of my carrots (small, stunted things. Note to self -- next year plant them farther apart or thin them). Then I canned them as dilled carrot pickles.

I also picked tomatoes, onions, kale, potatoes, and parsley, which I prepared for dinner. I picked some apples off one of my apple trees, and had hoped to make an apple dessert, and/or boil them up for jelly, but ran out of time. Oh well -- tomorrow's task (after work).

It is very satisfying to grow our own food, harvest it, and eat it.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Frustrated Artist

I was looking at Chirtie's art on her blog again tonight. It brings a rush of feelings -- awe at her creativity that she shares so generously; curiosity to read about and view the techniques she explores; hunger to pick up my paintbrush; and . . . sadness.

Yes, I am sad. I am not painting. I haven't touched a canvas in ??4 years. I yearn to paint again -- to do any art. But whenever I get the creative urge, a big, huge wall impedes me. It is a wall of hopelessness. The wall is made of stones of excessive overwork.

This is what happens. An idea for a cool project pops into my head. Or maybe I see some new art material and think that I would like to try using it. And then, immediately, the voice in my head speaks to me in dire tones and says, "There is no point in even starting. You have no time to paint. Other projects you have started *years ago* are sitting around the house, unfinished, gathering dust. You can't do everything. You can't do art."

I should know all about this creativity-destroying nasty anti-art voice, because I am also a writer, and I have worked very hard to nurture my writerly self and protect it from the voice of doubt. And I *am* writing. (That god for that!)

But I also am caught in a loop of way too much work, and it takes a great amount of effort to even carve a little space in it to have a life. And that little space does not seem big enough for my artist's soul. I don't want a bite -- I want a meal. So if I can't have the meal, I won't even take a bite.

How's that for a sad, sad, circle?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Art Wall

This photo is of a floor-to-ceiling ceramic wall at the Royal Tyrell Museum in Drumheller, Alberta, Canada